Dude! You Stole My Wallet.

So, today I experienced the misfortune of having my wallet stolen while at the gym. Some dude actually had the tools to cut the lock off the locker I was using, so i'm thinking he wasn't there for a swim. The thing that bothers me most is the inconvenience this causes. It had to be reported, then I had to cancel credit cards, set up precautions in case they try to use my ID by calling creditors, file a police report and replace all my ID. To add insult to injury, my poor brother decided to tag along today, share my locker, and have his wallet stolen as well. Yar!

Dear Mr. Thief,

Thanks so much for the inconvenience you caused me and my bro today. I'm sure you were stoked to load up a cart with $500 worth of goodies at Zellers and looked forward to charging it on my credit card. Oh, sorry that the transaction didn't go through! I neglected to leave you sufficient funds as I paid for my vacation a short time ago and ended up close to my credit limit. But hey, God's grace is still evident in our situation, so let us both be thankful. You didn't take my car keys and other belongings and I didn't catch you! Grace to you. Maybe catch ya next time dude.

The Timinator ;)